We are an average family in terms of resources, but we are comfortable. The problem is my husband is weird; I have never had anything like this. We dated for two years after he had broken up with Rufaro.We had a beautiful wedding. During our courtship he would unknowingly call me by the name of his ex-girlfriend but I would gently remind him kuti handisini Rufaro. Back then he promised to make this right.
Mai Chisamba, believe it or not up to this day here and there he still calls me by that name. This woman is now married and has her own family but anongomurotomoka. What’s worse is at times during intimacy anonditi Rufaro, this really puts me off.
Why is this name still stuck in his head? Is he still seeing this woman? Does he still love her? Akaroiwa here? Should I talk to her about this kana pane zvaakaita agadzirise? It’s been a long time since they broke up. I can’t take it anymore and it’s breaking my heart. I have a name just like everyone else, ndinoenda kumba kwedu ini. Please help.
MAI CHISAMBA RESPONDS
Thank you so much for reading my column. At times I just wonder where we are heading to as a people. Comparatively speaking most of our young people are overwhelmed with marital problems considering that this union is supposed to be a lifelong companionship. It makes our reading very sad.
Despite what is bothering you I’m happy to hear that you are comfortable, that’s a plus. You sound like a very level-headed young woman. I am glad you wrote me before talking to Rufaro. Why do you want to talk to her?
What has she done wrong? Please keep your pride. Nyaya dzekuti munhu anogadzirwa idzi where are our young mothers getting this nonsense from?
Only God has the power to do that – the rest are just stories. Rufaro is married, which means she has moved on, it’s your husband you should deal with. Respect this woman’s marriage and space.
I don’t think kuti murume wako akaroiwa, maybe it’s because I personally don’t believe in that. Mind you in Zimbabwe imhosva kupumha munhu nenyaya idzodzi. That’s why I advise you not to approach your husband’s ex.
It’s unfortunate this woman’s name is stuck in your husband’s head and I feel for you, it hurts. It also sends wrong signals to you; see now you suspect that they might be seeing each other behind your back.
Baba vava kutaura zita iri kunyange panguva yerudo rwenyu, during intimacy this is just terrible. I can’t put a finger on why this name is stuck in your husband’s head but it’s a common thing among some people.
For me the names of my three young brothers are stuck in my head, I mix my daughter’s and son’s names with my young siblings. I just can’t get it out; it’s so common out there but yekuzodaidzwa zita ra ex hazviite, zvinorwadza.
I suggest you both see a marriage counsellor for a way forward but in the meantime your husband should resort to using neutral salutations like honey, sweetheart, babe, chipondamoyo etc.
Going back home does not solve anything. You have invested in your union, you love each other; don’t let these petty issues destroy your marriage.
Life is very short; this is the time to enjoy each other Mai Two, zvinogadzirika ufunge. Last, but not least, baba ngavaedze kusataura taura panguva yebonde vanozomwauka nhando.
I wish you all the best. NEWS
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