We have been married for 10 years now and we have two sons. When I married her she was a non-drinker so each time I had an alcoholic drink I would persuade her to take a sip or two.To begin with she hated booze because of the sour taste. I would go out of my way to buy sweet wines for her. I enjoyed kakufara nekakushereketa kaaiita kana adhakwa, little did I know that I was inviting real problems into my home.
Mai Chisamba, kana ini ndakamudzidzisa handinwe zvakadaro. She is always drunk and always drinking. I tried to talk to her and she said “wakandidzidzisa ndiwe so don’t complain”.
I regret and I feel sad. Last week I was disturbed when one of my kids said “tiendesei kwagogo, mama vanogara vachingonwa doro”.
At times she wakes up during the night to just have a drink. I spoke to her tete vakatopindurawo rough kuti zvedoro chikoro chekumusha kwenyu, isu takapereka mukadzi wako asingadhakwe.
Deep down I want to send her packing but I feel guilty since it is because of me that she has gone to waste. Please help me save my marriage and family, ndarumwa nechekuchera.
MAI CHISAMBA RESPONDS
Thank you for writing in. When a problem or something disturbs the kids then it should be attended to promptly. Naturally many kids are attached to their mothers but in your case they prefer gogo to amai, that’s very sad.
Too much of anything is no good. I don’t want to judge you because no one has a right to do that unless it is in court. So many couples in the comfort of their homes eat, drink and do so many other things.
Vamwe vanoroorwa kana kuroora vasingadye chimwe chinhu asi vozonochionera mberi. I think your wife is abusing alcohol and there is no excuse for that, this has nothing to do with whoever introduced her to drinking.
She just is irresponsible, she must think of her health and her family. I also think tete’s answer is off track; culturally her role is to put things right no matter who did what. Does this mean she is going to sit back and watch this girl’s life go to waste? Shame on her.
I may be wrong but your wife’s condition sounds like an addiction and this may be very dangerous. Waking up from her sleep to get a drink is absurd.
Instead of blaming yourself day in, day out take her for therapy, that’s what she needs right away.
In the meantime put your foot down that no alcohol shall be kept in your home. Persuade her and help her to drink water, juice or some hot beverages whenever she feels like having a drink.
She needs your support; she can’t go through this alone. You are an interested party because you want to see the good results, so you have to work towards that as well.
Kubasa kwavo kana pane wavanogona kumboshanda naye munyarikani muunzei so that she does not drink at work.
Remind her that she has a name to protect. Excessive drinking is not good for health either. It’s a very sad scenario but if you react now I think she can be assisted. When you do this tell yourself that you are doing this because she is your beloved wife and mother to your children, siyana nezvekuti ndiwe wakamudzidzisa.
I hope it’s only alcohol she is now addicted to nekuti mazuva ano zvawanda. I wish you all the best. NEWS
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